that's an acceptable place to lick
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
