well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's no shave November. This is our time.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
