Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Someone signed my nipple.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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