it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
