mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
