I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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