Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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