Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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