I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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