I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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