Got a toothbrush?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
