all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
