Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.