I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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