She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs