i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.