You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
