How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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