He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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