Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
