Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
