Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize