well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize