he told me I talked like a deaf person
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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