you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize