any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
