remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize