Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I need help removing her.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's official drugs can't kill me
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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