you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
