Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
