You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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