Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize