@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
