just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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