K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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