Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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