How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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