So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
