Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize