I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
