I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
