I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
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You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
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I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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