can u get pink eye on your cock?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.