It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No subtext here. People are naked.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.