coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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