Say something about gay babies.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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