you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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