I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
