margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
this will be a night to untag.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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