My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
