he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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