I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just pee around me
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize