I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
