I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it glows. i had to have it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
