worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
