Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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