is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i think i have two assholes
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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