it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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