I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
