I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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