highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
