he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize